{"id":47,"date":"2013-05-21T22:48:37","date_gmt":"2013-05-21T22:48:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/vashl.com\/web\/2013\/05\/1750-words-to-say-thanks-dehydration-love\/"},"modified":"2015-04-20T15:05:15","modified_gmt":"2015-04-20T20:05:15","slug":"1750-words-to-say-thanks-dehydration-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/vashl.com\/web\/2013\/05\/1750-words-to-say-thanks-dehydration-love\/","title":{"rendered":"1750 Words to Say Thanks! Dehydration Love!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dehydration Love
\n<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

By VASHL Champion Reaper Goalie<\/strong><\/em>
\n<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

Mike Hoffman<\/strong><\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

\"GoWhen I came to, I was being told to stay still.\u00a0 My legs and back were cramping from the dehydration, and the room was still spinning, just slower now.\u00a0 I couldn\u2019t sit still and wait for an ambulance.\u00a0 Where am I?\u00a0 Canada. . . . I could tell because everyone was so nice and concerned.\u00a0 Why am I on the floor bleeding?\u00a0 Tougher question with a throbbing head from apparently hitting the wall . . . but I think it was because I either drank too little or too much, depending on your perspective and your choice of fluids to judge.\u00a0 Coming more clearly into focus at that point was the realization that I had let my teammates down through my own stupidity.<\/span><\/p>\n

Once in the ambulance, I feared concussion from the fall, but I knew what caused the fall.\u00a0 This Vaso-Vagal response is one I had experienced before, in much more embarrassing circumstances.\u00a0 Passing out (presumed drunk) in a bar was much easier to explain than passing out naked in the shower at the YMCA.\u00a0 But I did that twice, because I dehydrated.\u00a0 But I had a lot to drink tonight.\u00a0\u00a0 Yeah, I had A LOT to drink tonight.\u00a0 Shit.\u00a0 The alcohol was dehydrating my stomach and the rest of me, just like I learned freshman year in New Orleans.\u00a0 Lots of fluids with your alcohol and you stand a chance of enjoying the good parts of intoxication without those nasty side effects.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Remembering it all clearly as the ambulance pulled away.\u00a0 3 hours sleep between two 10+ hour driving shifts to get to Brantford from New Jersey by way of Chicago (don\u2019t ask!), to suit up in hot goalie gear (with no water bottle \u2013 IDIOT) and play continuously for 2 hours in a practice game.\u00a0 Then shower and try to recover.\u00a0 Tylenol. . . . Canadian Tylenol.\u00a0 Yeah, that stuff works if you are sore.\u00a0 But in this case, terrible mistake, as it made me not feel my body\u2019s signals that it was suffering.\u00a0 Moonshine Cherries.\u00a0 Mistakes abounding and compounding.\u00a0 Pink Vex. . . . wow, tasty, but very alcoholic\u00a0 . . . I am hugging really cool lesbians!!!\u00a0 I must have a shot with them!\u00a0 Mistakes ROCK!\u00a0 How much BETTER could things possibly get?!?!?!\u00a0 The room is spinning, I love that feeling.\u00a0 Spinning too much, let\u2019s get up and head to the bar.\u00a0 WHOA!\u00a0 I should take a\u00a0 . . . . . . stay still, don\u2019t get up, the ambulance is coming.<\/span><\/p>\n

The hospital had me sit in a hallway on a gurney for almost 6 hours with two, now lifelong, friends, who thought enough to call my wife on her cell and tell her what kind of idiot her husband is.\u00a0 The substandard treatment of the medical staff was only counteracted by the . . . I will call it what it was. . . love of my friends there with me.\u00a0 I was cleared to leave and play hockey at the crack of dawn (no not THAT Dawn!) and we made our way back to the hotel, exhausted and relieved.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

With a marker and a hotel hand towel, mimicking our founder Kevin Smith\u2019s,\u00a0 announcement to the world, I posted a sign on my door.\u00a0 \u201cYes, I assure you, I am fine!\u201d\u00a0 I knew everyone was worried, and might knock to see if I was there.\u00a0 I really needed some restful sleep.\u00a0 And I got it.\u00a0 When I woke up, the tournament truly began.\u00a0 My roommate, whom I had agreed to let stay in my room, was gone before I got back.\u00a0 Apparently after Dylan puked near him, and I was wheeled out on a stretcher, he decided that Brantford became Mos Isely and we were the scum and villains to avoid.\u00a0 But he didn\u2019t stop there.\u00a0 His message to us was heard loud and clear.\u00a0 Hydrate.\u00a0 Be Excellent to One Another.\u00a0 And. . . . Stop Partying On Dudes!\u00a0 In his defense, he cared for all of us, me especially, but it was received mostly as a joke.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I grabbed my goalie gear and headed for the rink in a fairly heavy rainstorm.\u00a0 Are we actually going to play in this.\u00a0 Once we were there for a few minutes, my question was answered.\u00a0 Um. . . . fuck yeah!?!\u00a0 Soaked, I donned my newly painted mask, bearing my own motto for the tournament, becoming the Reaper . . . in the words made famous by Robert Oppenheimer \u201cNow I am become Death, Destroyer of Worlds.\u201d\u00a0 I was ready to play.\u00a0 And we won.<\/span><\/p>\n

And the next day, we won again.\u00a0 And then, we lost. \u00a0As I was still feeling the love of my friends taking care of me after my fall. \u00a0It ground at me and fueled inside me to play harder and better, a<\/span>nd we did. \u00a0By the end of that night, we had won our semi-final matchup and were scheduled to play in the finals the next day.\u00a0 Better yet, our assistant captain, playing for another team, scored the most unlikely and unexpected shootout goal in VASHL history.\u00a0 Gavin . . . . a stay at home defenseman and self-defined \u201cfunbassador\u201d lined up to take his penalty shot . . . and scored on the crazy clown himself, Artist Jim.\u00a0 And thus the Ever-Aging Vulgarians were out.\u00a0 Off the most unlikely of sticks.\u00a0 In the most unlikely of circumstances.\u00a0 And I knew we could win.\u00a0 The other team was tough and stacked and they were truly a team.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I looked around at the Reapers, at my guys, at my teammates, at my friends, and I knew what I had to do.\u00a0 I had to do the best I could possibly do out there.\u00a0 I had to fight every shot and make every effort for them, because they would do the same for me.\u00a0 We had no quit.\u00a0 But we did have humor.\u00a0 On the way into the hotel, I turned to the defenseman for my opponent the next day and said right to his face \u201cVerdone, you suck cock.\u201d\u00a0 And I smiled and he was either confused or amused, but either way, he got my point.\u00a0 There was no HATE, only pleasant rivalry.<\/span><\/p>\n

That night I sat down in a quiet empty hotel room with that new mask and I made two additions to its\u2019 back.\u00a0 First, on the back of the headguard, I wrote the names of my kids.\u00a0 They would be there in my heart, helping me succeed in the face of adversity.\u00a0 Under each of their names, I put their birthdates.\u00a0 And second, at the top, I put the date 6\/6\/04.\u00a0 My wedding anniversary.\u00a0 Without love, without my wife\u2019s support and encouragement, I am nothing and I know that.\u00a0 She was behind me even when I was an idiot.\u00a0 She supported me when I fell, and she was the hand that helped me back up, from 1000 miles away.\u00a0 She has always been my angel.\u00a0 And my wife and kids would be there, in that championship game, guiding me.<\/span><\/p>\n

When Crandall brought our team together to discuss strategy, I asked for a minute to say something.\u00a0 Everyone got quiet and looked at me.\u00a0 \u201cGentlemen, it has been an honor and a privilege to play with each and every one of you.\u00a0 I intend to go out there and leave nothing to chance.\u00a0 I am going to play my hardest for each and every one of you, because I know you will do the same for me.\u00a0 Lets win this!\u201d\u00a0 And there wasn\u2019t a cheer.\u00a0 Just a confident nod from each of them.\u00a0 They were feeling the exact same way. \u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The game was close throughout.\u00a0 I let in some bad goals, but I stopped some amazing shots from my adversaries.\u00a0 Down one goal late, our opponents were pushing hard.\u00a0 Jeff, in particular, was playing his heart out.\u00a0 I just happened to have his number all weekend.\u00a0 With seconds to go, Crandall and Jeff took a spill into the corner and as the buzzer sounded, Crandall arose bleeding, and Jeff, well, didn\u2019t get up.\u00a0 He was writhing in pain and Crandall was over him making sure he was alright.\u00a0 Both teams went to that corner, to my left, to check on Jeff.\u00a0 His injuries (and Crandall\u2019s bloody knee) capped off a hard fought battle, but a clear win for the Reapers.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Once it was determined by all that Jeff would be alright, the celebration ensued.\u00a0 Handshakes and hugs to every member of the other team.\u00a0 I was crying and everyone saw it.\u00a0 I didn\u2019t care.\u00a0 It was such an emotionally charged weekend.\u00a0 Starting in the ER, ending holding up this cup.\u00a0 I let the tears flow, took off my mask, and kissed each of my kids names and my anniversary date.\u00a0 They were there with me.\u00a0 In my heart.\u00a0 They led us to victory.\u00a0 We moved off the rink and continued celebrating.\u00a0 While the vex\u00a0on Thursdaynight was sweet, nothing will ever taste as glorious as that drink of pink champagne out of the VASHL cup.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Through the battles, the friendship, the love, the alteration of minds and souls that occurred that weekend, I would always remember that you never give up.\u00a0 Even when you think you have done something to destroy yourself and your team, get up, hydrate and believe in yourself and your teammates.\u00a0 Believe in the love around you and the love inside you.\u00a0 Remember that it is an honor and a privilege to battle and love with friends.\u00a0 When the Reapers did that, we changed things, we did what no one (us included) would have ever expected.\u00a0 A photo of me, after the win, standing beside the car, said everything that needed to be said about the tournament.\u00a0 I was standing up, a champion, and my heart was full.\u00a0 (A year later as I write this, my VASHL Cup continues to overflow \u2013 with love for these crazy folks.\u00a0 See you soon!)<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1750 Words to Say Thanks! Dehydration Love!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[82,44,13],"class_list":["post-47","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogs","tag-mike-hoffman","tag-reapers","tag-vashl","item-wrap"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/vashl.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/vashl.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/vashl.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vashl.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vashl.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/vashl.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":538,"href":"http:\/\/vashl.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47\/revisions\/538"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/vashl.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vashl.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/vashl.com\/web\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}