Filmmaker in Brantford to Support Gretzky
BRUCE KIRKLAND, SUN MEDIA
Brantford Expositor
Fresh and fragrant from the set of his new Bruce Willis movie, A Couple of Dicks, Kevin Smith is planning to hop on the last plane to Toronto out of L.A. today.
Destination: Brantford.
Smith has a purpose: Play goal for the Puck U team in the Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament that starts with a charity memorabilia auction tonight and runs through Sunday, with Smith playing his games in the round-robin tournament on Saturday and Sunday.
Smith has a passion: He says he loves hockey in general, Walter and Wayne Gretzky in particular and is keen to support youth sports in Brantford, the town where Wayne was born and raised.
All the Brantford events this weekend, from the street hockey to Smith's Stocky Night in Canada stage show at 8 p.m. on Saturday night, are charity events to raise money for Brantford's sports facilities infrastructure legacy fund.
WHY?
"People keep asking me, 'Why?' " Smith tells Sun Media about going to Hockey Mecca in Brantford to visit with Walter and pay homage to Wayne Gretzky. "It's been 25 years since those crazy Oiler kids — captained by the lanky, polite Ontarian who always seemed to know where the puck was gonna be — took home their first Stanley Cup. And 10 years since the greatest hockey player the world has ever known retired from the game.
"This is just my way of thanking Wayne and his greatest coach for the memories, the excitement and the heart.
"They say nobody could ever replace number 99 but I say: 'Let's try! The world needs more Wayne Gretzkys.' The last one came out of Brantford, so I figured we should raise some loot through the Wayne Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament and maybe one day the town produces another humble genius who, against all conventional wisdom, dominates the game and our hearts all over again."
Street hockey is perfect for the New Jersey-born Smith, who is famous for his stand-up comedy chats and for creating movies from Clerks to Zack and Miri Make a Porno.
He says that, once he posted on his website about his desire to play the games for Walter Gretzky, "other dudes like me — old, fat, unathletic, more-body-fat-than-bone — started dreaming they too could forecheck it up the slot and slap themselves some middle-aged glory in the hometown of the Great One."
Smith & company — his team includes Silent Bob's sidekick Jason Mewes — could be in for a rough and tumble ride.
"I haven't net-minded in 15 years," Smith says, "and let me tell you, I wasn't good then. I'm hoping that whatever I lack in (Martin) Brodeur-like brilliance and (Roberto) Luongo-level dexterity I can make up for in sheer width and mass in goal. God willing, my child-bearing hips stretch pipe to pipe."
More daunting, however, is the prospect of meeting Walter Gretzky himself. Smith is at ease with movie stars.
Hockey gods? Not so much.
"I think it'd be uncomfortable for us both," Smith says of the promised introduction, "as I'd be reduced to a blubbering mess trying to express through tears and snot how much he and his son have meant to me and millions others. Seriously, if we're introduced, I might nervously throw up. I got no business letting my loser stink anywhere near Mr. Gretzky."
Details on the Brantford weekend are available online at Smith's own website, viewaskew.com, as well as on the Gretzky family's official website, gretzky.com. The street hockey games, along with live concerts and a display of goodies from the Hockey Hall of Fame, take place Saturday and Sunday at the Ball Hockey International at the Steve Brown Sports Complex in Lions Park. The official opening ceremony is at 1 p.m. on Saturday.
TIX AVAILABLE
Stocky Night in Canada, with Smith teaming up with his producer Scott Mosier, is set to roll at 8 p.m. in the Sanderson Centre for the Performing Arts. Tickets for this only are $25.75, with proceeds going to the charity. Call 800-265-0710 for info.
The final kicker is a special Sunday afternoon hockey game in which Smith's Puck U team will play the winners from the teen division of the tournament. "If they can beat us," Smith says, "we're going to donate a bunch of loot to Brantford Youth Athletics. If they can't beat us, their citizenship — and street cred as electric youth — should be revoked!"
