Golgothans

The Golgothans are an international street hockey team and member club of the VASHL.The franchise was added as part of the 2016 expansion, which also included the Salsa Sharks and the SModawa 37’s.

The team is based on a scene in Kevin Smith’s movie 1999 film Dogma. The Golgothan – also referred to as a “shit demon” or “excremental” – is a vile creature composed of human excrement. It was brought into existence from the pain and misery of the people of Golgotha who were put to death by crucifixion and given form by the waste excreted by the victims upon death. Its stench is unbearable and can diminish a person’s will to fight, causing most to flee from it. In Dogma, the demon Azrael summoned a Golgothan to find and kill the Last Scion, Bethany Sloane. The monster failed thanks to the quick-thinking (or sheer dumb luck) of Silent Bob, who knocked the creature out with an aerosol.

As of 2019, they are also one of the six VASHL franchises that have participated in the Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament, as well as the September Classic.

Contents

Golgothans
golgothans_400x400
Founded 2016
History Golgothans
2016-present
View Askew Inspiration Dogma
Colors Zeus black, my sin yellow, café au lait french beige and white
                   
Words We’re the shit!
Shit just got real.
Mascot The Golgothan
Facebook Page Facebook.com/pages/golgothans
Captain Tim Seymour
Walter Gretzky Cups 0
WGSHT Medals  0
 0
 0
Lady Ming Trophies 2 (2017, 2023)
Buddy Christ Memorial Heart Trophies 0

Players

2023 WGSHT Roster

# Nat Player
00 Canada Lorenzo Scott Helmer (A)
5 Canada Tim Seymour (C)
10 Canada Sam Loslo (Goalie)
11 Canada Matt Kennedy
13 Canada Chris Seymour
88 Canada Ryan Bernard
00 Canada Scott Burger
00 Canada John Smith
00 Canada Mickey Evenden
00 Canada Jesse Hertwig
00 Canada Mark Sexsmith
00 Canada Glen Chicken
00 Canada Leroy Jenkins

Golgothans Banner

Team Captains

WGSHT Team MVPs

YEAR PLAYER
2024 MacKenzie Moncrieff
2023 Mark Sexsmith
2022
2019
2018 Joe Mallette
2017
2016

Team Logos

golgothans_400x400 Alan Rickman 1946 - 2016
Team logo used from
2016-present
Shoulder patch
2016-present
Alan Rickman
Tribute Patch
2016

Photos

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Games

DateGameTime/ResultsTournamentYearArticle
Quarter Finals (2nd vs 7th) – 2024Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2024
RR GAME 13 - 2024Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2024
RR GAME 5 - 2024Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2024
RR Game 2 - 2024Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2024
RR Game 15 - 2023Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2023
RR Game 6 - 2023Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2023
RR Game 2 - 2023Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2023
Golgothans vs Salsa SharksSeptember Classic2022
Yoga Hosers vs GolgothansSeptember Classic2022
Golgothans vs BuddiesSeptember Classic2022
Game 11 - 2022Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2022
Game 8 - 2022Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2022
Game 4 - 2022Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2022
Championship GameSeptember Classic2019
Semi Finals - 2nd vs 3rdSeptember Classic2019
Golgothans vs MallratsSeptember Classic2019
Vulgarians vs GolgothansSeptember Classic2019
Game 23 - 2019Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2019
Game 15 - 2019Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2019
Game 10 - 2019Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2019
Game 16 - 2018Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2018
Game 5 - 2018Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2018
Game 4 - 2018Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2018
Game 23 - 2017Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2017
Game 18 - 2017Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2017
Game 13 - 2017Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2017
Game 6 - 2017Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2017
Game Twenty - 2016Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2016
Game Eighteen - 2016Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2016
Game Ten - 2016Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2016
Game Six - 2016Walter Gretzky Street Hockey Tournament2016

WGSHT Record

YEAR GP W L T OTL GF GA PLACE
2024 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
2023 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 10th
2022 3 0 3 0 0 13 27 9th
2019 3 1 2 0 0 12 14 10th
2018 3 0 2 1 0 11 30 11th
2017 4 1 2 1 0 10 19 10th
2016 4 0 4 0 0 5 26 12th
TOTAL 17 2 13 2 0 51 116  

September Classic Record

YEAR GP W L T OTL GF GA PLACE
2022 3 0 3 0 0 6 20 4th
2019 4 2 2 0 0 15 12 2nd
TOTAL 7 2 5 0 0 21 32  

Team History

The Golgothans were introduced as an expansion team for the 2016 tournament. Led by the longtime Reaper, Gavin ap’Morrygan, they are always looking to make a splash.

WGSHT Player Appearances with Golgothans